also found this. last one sorry! Kinnnd of just rambling

Sitting out on the balcony of a friends soon to be empty best home feeling apartment and it's getting dark, like when the night turns blue... yet it is warm. Times and people and situations are shifting out of their comfort that has been well settled in for at least half a year. I believe shifting happens so abruptly as to reconfigure our paths to get us where we're supposed to be and keeps changing every time we get the most comfortable we have been since we can remember to keep us the slightest bit unsettled to make us continue on our endeavors into what ever our lives may have in store until the end. We come across people and places that we swear to ourselves that we will always call home and maybe for the time being that is true. The reality of this idea is that you never know when the shifting will hit, but will always encourage you to love whole hearted while the present seems smooth and relentless against evolving.

found in my old phone. probably from winter of I don't remember.. so there..

Here I am noticing all of the beauty living around me; the roads I have driven on my entire life, the street lights that are always red when I pull up to them no matter what time of night it is. Oddly optimistic for housing this hibernating pain somewhere inside. "Be patient", they say. Oh those words are so familiar they feel like home. The way the letters form each curve; the words are as similar as the back my winter chapt hands. A trigger from an irrelevant source, giving a long over due kick to my rear to just...let go. Leave it there, move on. Spill your guts, mascara without the water proof label proving it works exactly how it ought to. No longer needing your acknowledgment, the facade of an encouraging look. There are greater issues to this depth of worry. My feet have picked up on a new rhythm for tonight.

Never not knowing how to handle the situation that's presented itself all too many times then and again and thereafter more. Folding each finger one over the other, the white in my knuckles feeling severely alarmed. Eyes blinking perfectly along side my pulse; your teeth holding tight concerning my arrhythmic chest inside. Brows furrowed, just barely alike; height just the minuscule detail in our lives. Oh, books filled with pages I've studied for years; this knowledge is nothing for the liking of his ears..only the beach could help to fill the somber sound that he needs. One hand on my knee, the other supporting my stress ridden cheek. "Remember to breathe" is your tell tale sign that you're confused with the day; I'll always suggest we just dream it away. My face is buried in and between all 10 of the pillows but, I know in the morning it'll all blow over.

Won't you?

Have a seat with my thoughts.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."- Woody Allen

Brilliant.

Free

Roots are humbling, sincere all the while; from trees to the real insight of you I see. Difficult to compile every word that comes to mind; reminiscing the history of my wild. Different air, atmospheres shared and those alike; who knows where I'm going with this. Shrink your bones and step in through the comprehension holes on the side of my head; take a walk through each cortex of my brain. Move about freely, take in all you see; feel my thoughts exactly how you'd picture me to need. Quick to balance over any necessity. Presumptions completely absurd; your initial concern should be no worry. Dive out of my eyes and allow the tears to carry you back to the ground. Can you imagine what those tear ducts have been through? Regain your strength, match your eyes to mine and remember what real, really is.

I think olive juice and if you could read my lips through written words I'd be in trouble.

Says it all.

Come home. That's it. No sentences placed poetically pleasing could say it any better or with any more meaning.